Karen, I so admire you for how you are handling this explosive friend, who has proven herself to be a good friend, despite her rants. Sadly, though, like your former boss, she has become toxic. I wonder if such people are aware of their own poisonousness. I hope Martha is able to grow and lean better coping techniques because there are strong roots in this relationship that can possibly bloom again. You do love each other. That is clear. This is a captivating story, full of both emotion and logic. Your researched and simplified protocols for dealing with your friend can be helpful to many others. Thank you.